


Stay with Me [ a Karkat x Reader]

by Yoimbo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Collegestuck, Gen, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Join me in my descent to hell, Karkat is a goober, Karkat is a hopeless romantic, Karkats a goober and so are you, Reader is bi/pan/demi, Why Did I Write This?, smut in later chapters, what are tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-06-08 03:30:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6837403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoimbo/pseuds/Yoimbo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a college student just trying to get by with your roommate who definitely has anger issues, trying to juggle school and work. To make things worse, you have insomnia and you have to deal with your post-traumatic stress induced flashbacks. Your short fused roommate is the only one who bothers to put up with you, but will he be able to help you when your old abuser tries to pry their way into your life?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Poptarts and Mail

"Ivan Pavlov is the father of Classical Conditioning. He discovered he could teach dog to salivate at the sound of a bell…”

The professor droned on with the lecture, hands behind his back as he paced from one side of the room to the other. While most students were spacing off, doodling on their notebooks, or doing anything else unproductive, you took your notes diligently as the professor’s monotonous voice hummed in your ears. Your phone gave a curt buzz from your pocket, alerting you to the fact that someone was trying to text you. Continuing to write, you pull out your phone and check the notification, it was from your roommate, Karkat.

  **Karkat: HEY YOU ALMOST DONE IN CLASS?**

 You looked to the time, then to your notes, seeing the page was full of little notes.

  **You: Yeah, nearly done. Expect me in maybe a half an hour?**

**Karkat: AWESOME**

**Karkat: CAN YOU STOP BY THE STORE? GAMZEE IS COMING AND WERE OUT OF POPTARTS. YOU KNOW THAT ASSHOLE LOVES THOSE THINGS.**

**You: Yeah! Sure thing. I’ll be home in 45 then.**

**Karkat: GOT IT. SEE YOU THEN.**

 You put your phone back in your pocket and continued to write. The remainder of the class passed by quickly and without interruption. You begin to put your things away as your teacher assigned the homework. A twenty page essay on the process of classical conditioning due next time the class meets. Good, at least it wasn't fifty pages like last time. You were first to leave when the class dismissed, unlocking your bike from the rack and riding towards the wal mart. You picked up a few different boxes of poptarts, maybe this time they’ll last longer.

 You quickly finish shopping, riding to your bus stop and waiting. It took a while, but it finally arrived at your stop. You put your bike on the rack in the front, then carried your few bags of groceries on board with you. The bus ride was longer than usual, and you spent most of the time on your phone. It took you all the self control you had to not break into the poptarts while you waited for your stop. Finally, you reached home, which was a small two-bedroom apartment. You set down your bike and opened the door, closing it behind you.

 “ ‘m home!” you call as you set down your keys.

 “ Hey sis” greeted a familiar stoner from the couch, eyeing the grocery bags you were carrying “whatcha motherfuckin got there?”

 “Your favorite.” you say at you empty the bags on the kitchen counter.

 “Motherfuckin poptarts? Geez, sis. You all up n’ know me so well.” He gave a hoarse chuckle, immediately getting up to open a box.

 “Where’s Karkat?” You ask, putting some of the boxes away.

 “He all up and left. Said he was gonna get the mail or somethin.” he explained, shoving a frosted breakfast treat in his mouth.

 You shrugged, making your way to the living room“ ...Wanna play mariokart?” you ask, turning on your wii.

 “I'm always down for motherfuckin mariokart.” The lanky stoner gave a soft chuckle before flopping on the couch.

 …

 “You **fucking** bitch! Did you _really_ just blueshell me?!” You growl at the stoner right as the door opens.

 “Not my fault, sis. You were in first.” Gamzee chuckled.

 Karkat walked in, arms full of mail, “Hey. Im back.”

 “Hey Karkat!” you call back, not looking from the screen.

 “How was class?” he inquired, setting down the mail.

 “like usual, boring. He assigned us a twenty page paper this time.”

 “Jesus Christ, and it's due next lecture?”

 “Mhm, but i took notes on the subject, so I should be able to get it done quick.”

 Karkat shuffled through the mail, picking up an envelope addressed to you “ Good. There's some mail for-” he paused, reading the label, then stayed silent.

 “ Dammit!!” you curse, losing the race to Gamzee, then turn to see your roommate“ huh? What were you saying?”

 He cleared his throat, hiding the envelope, “uh.. Nothing. Nevermind.”

 You raise an eyebrow, wondering why he was acting so strange. Gamzee eyed the both of you as you got up, walking to Karkat.

 “Come on, what is it?” you say, gesturing to the hand behind his back.

 “Look, I told you it's fucking nothing, okay?” he told you again.

 “Karkat, is it for me?” you demanded with your hand out, your eyes fixated on his

 He hesitated, staring into your eyes--well, more like glaring. The two of you stayed like this until he finally gave in to your pleading eyes. Grumbling, your roommate slapped the envelope into your hand, a bit of pink dusting his cheeks.

 “It's from your parents.” He said, “knowing what they usually say, i wanted to save you the trouble.”

 You open it immediately, taking out the contents. It was a letter. They always sent a letter when they wanted something from you. Your eyes skimmed over the cursive words, reading what the paper had to say. Money. They were asking you for money again. You let out a scoff, tossing it to the paper on the counter and walking back to the couch.

 “God, can you believe these people?” You say indignantly as you grab your controller, going back to the character select screen.

 “What do those assholes want this time?” He sits in between you and Gamzee.

 “Money. Again.”

 “You gonna give it to them?”

 “Hell no. I'm not made of money. They're just gonna have to make do. They have jobs, they can make it themselves.” you say, choosing your normal character.

 Karkat chuckled, letting out one of his rare smiles, “Nice job finally putting your foot down.” he grabs the third controller, joining the game.

 …

 You stared at the computer screen, typing at a million miles per hour, the only light in the room coming from the laptop. It was three am, and you couldn’t sleep. Karkat was long asleep, and you were bored. Having nothing else to do, you began working on your assignment. Five pages in, you get distracted and decide to go on facebook, which you hadn't checked in a couple months. You scrolled through past notifications, old school friends having children or getting married. It brings a small smile to your face. Your gaze wandered to the “people you may know” section. You added some people, one after another until-

 Oh no.

Oh _no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thanks for reading! I'll try to update this when I can. There won't be a specific pattern for my updates. Anyway, kudos and comment if you like this??


	2. Her.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a sudden flashback of your abuser and karkat calms you down. Cuteness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo this chapter has some triggering stuff. Implied rape and all that jazz. Be warned.

Your eyes linger on the face of the person on one of the profiles. It was her. A gasp escaped your lips as you pushed your laptop off of you, now noticing how hard it was to breathe. You thought you had seen the last of her. You thought that you never had to deal with her shit.

You were wrong.

_ :: _

_ You barely make your way through the door before your lips were accosted by another’s. You make a muffled sound as her hands make her way up your body. She gasped your name as she pulled you to the couch, continuing to feel you. You squirmed under her touch. You plead for her to stop, calling her by her name, but she doesn't listen and tries to remove your clothes. Her breath reeked of alcohol, and this made you struggle even more. You pleaded again, trying to push her off. This only made her angry, pinning your arms back with one hand, groping your breast with the other _

_ “Don’t pretend you don’t want it, whore. Youre mine and I can fuck you when I want to.” _

…

Karkat stumbled into the living room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He squinted at the light-emitting computer. He called your name groggily.

“ Hey, what are you still doing up still…? You have work in the morning?” he said before hearing your gasping sobs.

He called you name again, looking to you with concern. You were curled up into a ball, shielding your head and face, sobbing and quivering. 

“ Fuck..” he quickly came to your side, gently touching your shoulder. This caused you to flinch and cry out, “Hey,Hey, don’t worry. Its alright..” He cooed gently.

You quickly wrap your arms around him, your tears wetting his shirt. His arms immediately surrounded you, hugging you tight.

“Don’t worry... It's over. She's gone... Remember to breathe.” he reassured you as he softly rubbed your back.

“Sh-she found me..!!” you cry out, nodding to the laptop.

He takes the laptop with one hand, looking to the screen. Karkat rubs her back, “Hey, its alright. Youre safe. She hasnt found you. This is just the ‘people you may know’....” 

You didn’t listen to him, and continued to ramble and blubber to him. This continued for a while until you realized your mistake, having been confused by the sudden flashback.

After a while, you pull away, wiping the tears from your face, “Th-thanks…” you say in almost a whimper.

“Don’t mention it.” he said, smiling reassuringly, “let's get you to bed…”

He helped you up, guiding you to your bed. You nearly flop onto the bed with exhaustion. You closed your eyes, thinking he would just leave. However, you feel someone get in bed beside you.

“...Karkat..?” you say meekly.

He gave a questioning grunt.

“..What are you doing..?”

“Making sure you sleep without incident.” karkat quickly became worried, “I mean. If that’s okay. I’ll leave if you wanna just be alone. Fuck, im sorry-”

“It’s okay Karkat. You can stay…”

He smiled softly, laying down beside you. You let out a sigh of relaxation, a small tint of blush on your cheeks. That night was the best sleep you had in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short chapter, but an update all the same. Remember to kudos or comment. Love y'all!  
> -Bo


	3. Late Night Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mental health days are fun, especially with a grumpy roommate.

It had been a couple days since your flashback, and you were still taking time to recuperate. It was always hard to come back from things like that for you. You took a sip of your coffee as you checked your email on your phone. You hadn’t been able to touch your laptop since that night. You just couldn’t. Karkat was on the couch, watching one of his movies. Your eyes couldn’t help but stray to him, constantly flitting from phone to him to phone to him. 

“No, nonono don’t you DARE get on that fucking plane, Sandra!!!” He yelled at the woman in the TV.

His sudden outburst towards the characters brought a smile to your face. You loved how he acted like they could hear him. It was adorable.

“You know, Karkat..” You say as you sit next to him on the couch , “I don’t think they can hear you. Maybe speak louder.” You chuckle at your words.

He scoffed at you, shaking his head, “Shut up.”

You chuckled, drinking more of your coffee.

…

Today was one of the rare days that you had neither work nor school, so you sat on the couch most of the day. Karkat had to go to work in the middle of the day, and you spent the majority of the afternoon alone. After a couple of hours of Karkat being gone, you got bored. You break into Karkat’s movie stash, playing a random disk. “The Proposal”. Nice.

Hours later, Karkat returns, “Home.” he called to you as he closed the door behind him.

You didn't answer, your knees pressed to your chin as you watched one of his movies.

“Hey, did you hear me?-” He asked, walking into the living room, “Oh. 50 First Dates. Good pick!” He flopped down next to you.

“How was work?” You ask quietly.

“Tiring.”

“I see.”

“Oh, I got you this, by the way.” he reaches into his pockets, throwing you a bag of skittles.

You jump a bit, taking the bag in your hand, “oh! Thank you!”

“Don’t mention it. It was a buy one get one free. I already ate mine.”

You opened the bag, beginning to eat its contents. The movie ends soon enough, and you continued to hang out with him, talking about whatever came to mind. Music was playin softly in the background. In the middle of the conversation, Karkat went into the kitchen, digging through the fridge for a beer. 

“Want one?” he offered, grabbing his own.

“Hm?” you turned to see him grabbing a beer, “Oh, yeah! Thanks.”

Karkat grabbed a second one and walked back to the couch, “Sorry, What were we talking about?”

“Back in high school.” you reminded him, opening your beer and taking a sip.

“Oh! Right!” He opened his own and began drinking too, “How was it at your high school?”

You give a shrug, “it was good, i guess. It certainly wasn’t the  _ best _ but I made do”

“you in any clubs back then?”

“Drama Club. But I almost never showed up. “ you said with a scoff, “You?”

“Computer club.” he took another sip, “but I was fucking terrible at it.”

“You were a computer nerd?” You inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“Nah, not really. Now, my friend, Sollux, definitely deserves that title. Think you've met him before at that party.”

“The guy with the glasses and the messy hair?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” He said with a chuckle, “He and I were pretty tight before graduation… i need to visit the asshole soon.”

You nod, “Maybe invite him over sometime!”

“You’d be okay with that?”

“Of course!”

“ Sweet! Maybe next week or something.” Karkat gave a small grin.

…

You and Karkat continued to talk into the night, your conversation shifting from school to show interests to school again, really anything that came to mind. It reminded you of the days back in high school, the days where you both typed away on your computers, miles apart but still so close. It reminded you of the days before  _ she  _ plagued your life. No matter what, he was there for you, and the fact that he was here for you even after everything made you ecstatic.

“Hey, immuna go to to the bathroom real quick.” Karkat said, getting up.

You nodded, looking up at him with drowsy eyes. Glancing to the clock on your phone, you yawned.

“Jesus, it's four thirty!” you exclaim. 

“Yeah, I know.” he said with a chuckle, “We’ve been talking for hours. Sit tight, I’ll be back.”

Karkat came back minutes later, sauntering back into the room, “anyways, what were we-”

He looked down to see you, already asleep. You were in an odd position, it didn’t look too comfortable. Karkat smiled softly and he bent over to pick you up-- he couldn’t just leave you there. You stirred slightly, but didn't wake as he carried you to your bed. Tucking you into your blanket, he lay down beside you, making sure you didn't wake up in a panic. 

“G’night.” he said to your sleeping form before closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for not updating in a while. Got busy. I really liked this chapter, so if you also liked it comment or kudos? Thanks ily  
> -Bo


	4. Final Exams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's that time of the semester, and your parent's decide to give you more stress.

It was December. The semester was coming to a close, but your stress was through the roof. Finals were coming to a close, and god dammit if you failed, you felt your life would be over. You read over your old notes as you sat at the table, you heard the door open.

“M’home.” Karkat called, mail in hand and backpack in the other, he shut the door behind him, “I got the mail, too.”

“Hey.” you droned, not looking away from your notes. 

Karkat raised an eyebrow at you, “You still on that?” 

You gave a nod, and he dropped the mail on the counter. Sifting through the mail, he stopped at a certain envelope. Rolling his eyes, he tossed you the envelope. 

“It’s them again. Probably asking something from you again.” He grumbled.

Your eyes strayed from your work to the letter, and you opened it. Your eyes flew across the words, nearly expecting what they were going to say. However, they only had one request.

“They… Want me to come home for Christmas.” You say softly.

“Really?” Karkat asked, “Do you know if you’re gonna go?”

“I... I..” You thought about it, you truly weren’t sure.

“You know what, you don’t need this right now.” He snatched the letter from your hands, “You’re fucking stressed enough as it is. You gotta be focus on schoolwork, not your shitty parents.” He folded the paper and promptly put it on top of the fridge, “You can think about it after you pass your finals.”

You begin going through your notes, trying to focus as Karkat sat on the couch. It was silent as your thoughts ran a hundred miles per hour. You sighed, not looking up from your papers.

“...Hey Karkat?” you finally ask.

He gives a question grunt.

“If.. if I went up to see my parents.. Will you come with me…?”

He paused, before sighing, “Tell you what,” He said, turning back to you, “If you pass your finals, I’ll come with you..”

That was enough motivation to get you going. You continued studying, your eyes filled with determination.

…

You looked up at the poster of scores on the wall before you. Scanning down, you found your ID number. Your palms sweat, your heart ready to stop at any given moment. You could barely contain your anxiety. 

‘I did well, I had to have done well.. I worked hard for this.’ You thought to yourself, hesitating to find your score. Following the row with your students ID, a certain score caught your attention. You had the third highest score in the class. You looked back to your roommate, a giant smile on your face.

“You passed?” He asked, smiling.   
You nodded excitedly, “With flying colors!”

He grinned, wrapping his arms around you and spinning you around, “See? I told you that you had that test in the fucking bag!”

A blush spread across your face, and you laughed, “Thanks..” you say as he set you down.

He laughed back, ”Well, I guess we should get packing!”

You paused, “Wait, you’re really coming?” you ask.

“Of course!” He said beginning to walk with you back towards his car, “I made a deal, didn’t I?”

You suddenly wrapped your arms around him, turning red, “Thanks, Karkat, this means a lot to me.”

You could feel his cheeks get warm and he slowly hugged back, “Don’t worry about it, okay?” He said, “To be honest, I would’ve gone with you even if we didn’t make that deal. I had always wanted to meet your parents.”

“Pfft.” you chuckled, “Because they’re  _ such  _ good people.”

“I mean,” He shrugged, “They had you; that’s gotta count for something.”

You pulled away and laughed, “Wow, you’re just compliment after compliment today, aren’t you?”

You two began to walk again, “Yeah, I’m fucking generous with compliments right now, aren’t I?” Karkat asked, as if surprised with himself, “I didn’t realize, I’ve just been telling the truth.”

You shook your head, “Whatever, dork.” You give him a playful shove, “Let’s just get to the car, I’m freezing my ass off.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this one's really short and dialogue heavy, so brace yourself. Another chapter will be coming soon! I have more inspiration to write at the moment.  
> by the way, sorry for that long wait! love y'all!!  
> -Bo


	5. Christmas with the Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Karkat pay a visit to your shitty parents, as per their request.

You stood in front of the door of your childhood home, thumb hovering over the doorbell as you hesitated to ring it. This had been the first time you had visited since you moved out. Gripping your suitcase in your hand tighter, you glanced to Karkat nervously.

“I’m warning you,” You say to him, “They’re really bad.”

He gave you a reassuring smile, “It’s going to be fine. Now, are you going to ring the fucking doorbell or not?”

You smiled back and rang the doorbell, waiting for your parents to answer the door. Your mom opened the door, and she practically cried your name to the heavens before the woman pulled you into a soul-crushing hug.

“Oh, goodness!” your mother said, looking to Karkat. She leaned back into the house, yelling to the other family member, “Hun! She’s here! And she brought a man!!” 

“Thank the Lord!!” Your father rejoiced, coming to the door. He smiled and introduced himself, reaching to shake hands with Karkat, “What’s your name boy?”

“Karkat, sir. Pleased to meet you.” Karkat said as politely as he could, shaking the man’s hand.

“Oh!” He turned to you and your mother, “Polite, and a good grip.I like this one!”

Karkat gave a nervous chuckle and looked to you. You were smiling, but you honestly were thinking how far you could run if you made a break for it. You knew this was the calm before the storm, that soon they were going to start talking to Karkat and ask him whether you two were already having sex. Though, you knew there was no point in telling them that you two weren’t dating.

“Alright, don’t just stand in the cold!” Your mom told you and Karkat, “Come in, Come in! I wanna hear all about you!”

They lead you two to the living room, where a giant Christmas tree stood. It was decorated top to bottom with ornaments of all kinds. You recognized a few crafts you did as a child, heat rising to your face. However, most of the decorations were new. You were beginning to wonder how your parents could afford all of this.

“Hey mom,” You ask, “Where did you get all this stuff?”

“Oh! You mean the decorations?” She asked, “Your friend got these for us!”

You stop looking to your friend, “What friend?” 

“Y’know, I can’t really remember her name,” She said, waving her hand, “She’ll be over later tonight, don’t worry!”

“Now, do you want to put your guy’s stuff in your room, dear?” Your father said to you. 

You nodded, “C’mon, Karkat.”

You led Karkat up the stairs, and he whispered in your ear, “..Do they think we’re dating…?”

“Most likely.” 

He nodded, and you opened the door to your room. Immediately, you were hit with embarrassment. It was the embodiment of a teenager’s bedroom. Posters of the different bands you liked littered the wall, and books upon books piled on the shelves. You were surprised that your parents had kept your room intact and that they didn’t turn it into an office.

“Welp,” You said to Karkat, “This is it.” 

You walked in and set your suitcase down, “It’s dorky, I know...I decorated it when I was thirteen.”

He looked to one poster in particular, “High School Musical?” He said with a chuckle.

“Like I said: thirteen.”

He smiled, setting down his suitcase, “nicer than the room I had in high school.” He said, looking around more.

“Oh?” You asked, wanting to hear more.

“Yeah, it wasn’t this big, and it had holes all over the walls.”

“Holes?” 

“I was an angry kid.”He explained smiling a bit, “When I got angry, I got physical. I’d punch my wall over and over… I even have a scar from when i cut my hand on the drywall.” he showed her his right hand, a slight scar on his knuckles.

“Ouch!” you grimaced, “It didn’t hurt?”

The man chuckled, “Oh, it hurt like a bitch,” He said, “but I thought I had to be tough about it. Y’know, I never told my dad.” He sat on the bed, still smiling, “I didn’t want him to chew me out for punching walls again.”

You smiled, “I know, I feel you.” you say, looking around at the room as if searching for something, “Some of these posters are on the wall for the sole purpose of hiding some holes in the wall.”

You looked to a singular poster on the wall your bed was against, “Like this one. I trying to get a running start into my bed, but I ended up drop-kicking the wall and making a giant hole right there.”

He gave a laugh, looking at the poster, “No one would suspect it.” he said, “The perfect crime!”

You both laugh, laying back on your old bed. A part of you began to not mind that you were back at your parent’s house. As long as Karkat was with you, you didn’t care. He always had a way of calming you down, bringing you down to earth.As long as your best friend was there, you felt like you could withstand anything.

....

“You know,” your mom said to you and Karkat as she sat down adjacent from you two in the living room, “I’m so relieved she brought you here.You see, when she left, she was going through this phase where she thought she was gay.”

“Thank god she grew out of that and got a boyfriend!” your dad chimes in.

You felt your face begin to redden, and you see Karkat’s cheeks darken as well, “..Actually..” he began, “We’re not dating.”

“And I’m still gay, Mom.”

She shut up, “Oh, well. You’ll get over it.” She said dismissively, walking into the kitchen

Karkat looked over to see you, seething as you tried to contain your rage. Honestly, you don’t know why you came here. All they did was insult you. Karkat placed a hand on yours, smiling reassuringly. You smiled back, feeling your anger simmer down.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, the electronic ping echoing a bit inside the house, “Ooh!” Your mother said, “That must be your friend; I’ve got it!”

She practically ran to the door, quickly opening it up, “Hello!!” She said to the person on the other end of the door.

“Hi!” said a familiar voice.

Your heart dropped, and you stood up to look. Karkat looked to you with curiosity.

This couldn’t be good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the New chapter! Things are starting to get a bit more interesting, I hope. I'm already working on the next chapter, so sit tight! Also, give a kudos or comment if you like this chapter? Thanks! Love y'all!!  
> -Bo


	6. Olivia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's here, and you don't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this is going to have more descriptions of abuse. Those who are sensitive with that stuff, proceed with caution. Love Y'all!  
> -Bo

Before you, stood your abuser, a polite smile on her face. You grabbed Karkat’s hand, your digits quivering as you tried to regain composure. She noted how hard it was to breathe.

“O-olivia?” You cried in surprise, “W-what are you doing here?”

“Oh, I heard you were coming home for Christmas. I could miss that!” Her voice was softer than usual, more friendly. You guessed it was a front for your parents.

“Oh! Where did my manners go?” Your mother chastised herself, looking to Karkat, “Karkat, This is Oliva. Olivia, This is Karkat, another friend of my daughters!”

Her eyes flitted from you to Karkat, noticing your hand in his, “Ah,” She said, her smile turning more condescending, “Well, any friend of my dove is a friend of mine.”

You fought to keep the bile down your throat, squeezing Karkat’s hand. That used to be her nickname for you. “You’re so small and pure,” she used to say, “Like a dove.” You stepped back, trying to keep space between you and her.

Karkat gave he a fake smile, “Of course, I’ve heard a lot about you, Olivia.” He said, rubbing your hand with his thumb reassuringly.

“Oh? All good things, I hope.” She said with a chuckle.

She walked into the room, sitting down across from you. This causes you to fall back next to Karkat. By now, your parents already had made their way to the kitchen to do god-knows-what, and so you were alone with Karkat and Olivia. The silence after that was deafening, and you could feel her eyes bearing down on you. God, you needed to get out of there.

“I’ll be right back.” You blurted, getting up.

You skittered to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind you. You began to hyperventilate, sinking to your knees as you hugged yourself. You couldn’t think,you could barely even feel the fabric of your jacket underneath your fingertips. All you could do is listen to your breathing echo off the walls.

…

_You opened the door to your house, creeping inside. You had to be quiet, knowing Olivia was going to be asleep. If you were careful not to wake her, maybe you wouldn’t make her angry.You had taken the time to go to the movies with a friend._

_“So.” You heard Olivia say from the kitchen, “Did you have a good time?”_

_You jumped out of your skin, looking to the kitchen, “Livie!” You said in a small voice, trying to invoke some mercy from her, “You’re up late!”_

_“Couldn’t sleep.” She said._

_You heard a glass bottle topple over. It sounded empty._

_“..Have you been drinking again, Livie?”_

_“Like it’s any of your fucking business.” She said, stepping into view. She had a drink in her hand and dark circles under her eyes, “Now, where have you been?”_

_“I, uh..”_

_“Wait.” She said, walking closer, watching you like a hawk, “You’re wearing that top again.”_

_Fuck. You remembered that she had told you not to wear that shirt. She thought it was too revealing and too flattering for your figure._

_“Didn’t I tell you_ **_not_ ** _to wear that?” Her voice raised a bit._

_“Y-yes but..”_

_“Is that what you were doing?” She asked, backing you into a wall, “Walking around, flaunting your stuff like a little whore?”_

_“I wore the shirt because I_ **_liked_ ** _it, Livie-!”_

_You felt your face sting, and you held your face in pain. You stared at your girlfriend in horror as she backed up, her hand still in the air from when she struck you._

_“Now, don’t look at me like I’m the bad guy..”She said, “you’re the one who started this..”_

_Tears filled your eyes and fell down your cheeks as you continued to stare. Her face fell as she saw you cry, and immediately went to hug you._

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She cried, holding you, “Please, please..”She sighed, “Sometimes, you just make me so angry...I love you so much, Dovey, I don’t know how to control myself..You know I love you, right, Dove?”_

_You hesitated before nodding, sniffling, “I-I love you too, Livie…”_

…

Olivia watched as you left, rather quickly she might add.Turning to Karkat, she gave a small smile, “So, If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to know what all she’s said about me.” Olivia said suddenly.

“Hm?” Karkat asked, “Why? Are you afraid she gave me unflattering information?”

“Nah,” she said, sitting back, “I just want to know what all of the truth she told you.”

“The truth?” He asked.

“She’s a pathological liar.”She explained, looking down, “It’s the reason I broke up with her.”

“Oh, really?” Karkat sat up, “I heard she left you.”

“What else did you hear?”

“That you hurt her.” he said, “In every way you could possibly hurt a person.”

She looked hurt, “She told you that?”

“She told me everything.” Karkat said, his voice filled with malice, “She tells me everything, trusts me with her life.”

“She’s lying to you.” She said, her voice more stern. Her happy, friendly demeanor fell for a second.

“Then why did she freeze up when you came in?”

“Probably afraid that her web of lies was coming undone.”

He shook his head, chuckling, “I’m not buying it.”

She stood up, scowling, “Fine, don’t believe me, but don’t come crawling back to me if she does the same to you.”She left the room, her smile returning when she joined your parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you guys go! I introduced a new character for y'all! I'm not really sure how I feel about it! I was gonna make her Vriska, but I decided against it. Don't really want to jump on the "make Vriska the antagonist" bandwagon. Anywho! Comment or kudos if you like this chapter? Thanks! love y'all!  
> -Bo


	7. Feelings Jam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Karkat have a feelings jam after Olivia leaves.

The day slowly melted to night, and Olivia ended up leaving once it became late. You had excused yourself immediately after, going up to your room. Karkat followed, his face contorting with worry. When he entered the room, you were curled up on the bed, tears streaming down her face. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, his voice going quiet. The question was rhetorical-- he knew you weren’t.

You sat there, staring blankly. Karkat’s voice echoed in your head. You wanted to answer, but you couldn’t bring yourself to open your mouth. There were no words on your lips or in your mind, just echoes of the events that occurred that day. Karkat stared at you, calling your name. You didn’t answer. Your concerned roommate walked up to you, gently touching your arm. You only slightly snapped out of it, your eyes darting to him.

“Hey,” He said, his voice soft, “We don’t have to stay here, you know...” 

You sniffle, looking down, “Yes, yes I do..” you hugged yourself, your voice shaking, “We have non-refundable plane tickets…”

That was true, they couldn’t fly back home until the 27th.  Karkat looked down, “But we still don’t have to-”

“Yes,” you interrupted, “We do.”She sighed and looked to him, “Look, It’s okay. I can just deal with this for a few days, then I can leave this place and never come back.”

He still looked concerned, “Fine...As long as you’re going to be okay.

You smiled softly, sniffling. Suddenly, you find yourself wrapping your arms around him in a tight embrace. He blushed before returning the hug. You rested your head on his shoulder, staying there for a while.

“It hurt..” you said after a while, “seeing her again.”

“I could tell..” He said quietly, “I’ve never seen you so scared..”

“I’m still scared…” you bite your lip, “After all that I did, all of my progress I made.. She shows her face and I’m back at the beginning…”

Karkat wasn’t sure what to say, so he just listened to you speak. Your roommate rubbed your back as you spoke.

“She even called me by my old pet name...I felt I could’ve dropped dead right there from fright..” You gave an exhausted chuckle, “You must think I’m so weak..”

“Not at all.” He said, holding you close, “Going out there and pretending everything was normal.. That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You sniffled looking up at him with tears in your eyes, “..Really…?”

“Really.” He repeated.

You two sat in silence, staring at each other for what seemed like an hour.You didn’t know what you were supposed to say in responce to that. You noticed how his brown eyes had flecks of green in them, and how they seemed to shine when he was worried. They were beautiful to you, you loved them. His hair was reddish and scruffy, and it flew in all directions. It took you all your self control not to run your fingers through it; you bet it was soft. Your felt yourself getting closer to him, compelled to be near him. Suddenly, you found your lips on his.

His lips were soft on yours, tender. He didn’t tense when you kissed him. Instead, he held  her closer, tilting into the kiss.  Soon, you pulled away, a bit panicked.

“I-i’m sorry.” You stuttered, “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He shook his head, smiling, “Don’t be sorry.” He whispered, stealing another kiss, “I’ve been wanting this..for so long..”

“..You were?” you asked.

He nodded, blushing, “Something...Something about you...makes me want to kiss you, and cuddle you and-- and do all this stuff with you… Fuck, I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts” he looked you in the eye, “I like you. I have for a while.”

You look down, “Karkat..” You begin, “I don’t know what to think… I don’t even think I know what love is. What I thought was love… it wasn’t. It was hurt and it was being used… I don’t want to be used again..”

“You won’t.” He said, his tone soft, yet with finality, “You won’t get hurt like that again. As long as you’re with me, I’ll make sure you won’t get hurt.”

“I don’t want to think about this right now…” you said quietly, “We..we can talk about this when we get home.”

He nodded, “Of course...I’ll give you all the time you need.”

You pulled away, sniffling once more, “Where do you want to sleep? If you prefer the floor, that’s fine..”

“Actually, I’d prefer to sleep with you tonight…” he said.

You nodded, agreeing that it would be better for him to stay with you. Getting up, you turned out the lights. The two of you got in bed and said your goodnights. You wished you had fallen asleep right then, but you couldn’t. Staring blankly at the wall across the room, you pleaded silently that you could lose consciousness. Your mind, though seemingly thoughtless, could not seem to calm down long enough to fall asleep. After an hour, you were about to give up,until you felt Karkat’s arm snake around your waist. You were about to turn your head to try and talk to him, but you noticed he was fast asleep.

You smiled, laying back where you were, “Goodnight, Karkat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOOOoooh~ kissy kissy! I hope you guys liked this chapter. I literally could not stop writing until I was done. Kudos and comment if you like this? Thanks! Love y'all!   
> -Bo


	8. Delayed Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Karkat are stuck at the airport, and you somehow make him feel worse

The Holiday passed excruciatingly slow, and it was finally time to leave for the airport. Your mother and father kissed you goodbye, and they sent you and Karkat on your way. Though your parents were sad to see you do, you couldn’t have gotten out of that house quicker.

Karkat hated airports, and dreaded having to go through security and be in the giant crowds of people. All of the moving around, loudness, people trying to get too their flights on time, it just overwhelmed him. He’s get irritable, and quick to snap at people. You tried your best to keep him calm, but it was better if he was left alone when he was like this.

When you and Karkat got through security, it wasn’t long until you found out that your flight had been delayed. You looked to Karkat, who seemed to try and hide his chin and mouth in his dark turtleneck. His face was flushed red in anger, and he was mumbling curses under his breath.

“...Karkat?” You asked, your voice tentative.

“What?” he said curtly,his eyes fixed on a glare on the tile.

“Don’t be like that,” You quietly,trying to be as soothing as possible, “Hey, it’s only a couple hours. We can get coffee, maybe lunch, then we’ll be ready to go!”

He looked to you, his expression softening a bit, “I guess, but it’s still a couple hours in this hellhole. God, how can you stand this?”

You shrugged, “I mean, I’d be lying if I wasn’t overwhelmed, but I guess… I guess I’m just keeping calm because you’re here…” You chuckled nervously.

There was a flicker of a smile, along with a blush, before he hid himself further in his turtleneck and turned his attention back to the floor, “I hate it when you say things like that.” He mumbled.

You looked to him, your brow furrowing in confusion, “Things like what?”

“You know what I’m talking about.” He said, crossing his arms, “‘When I’m around you, I’m calm. When I’m around you, I’m happy!’ Those things.”

“I don’t understand... Why do you hate it?”

He hesitated, then sighed, “Because when you say those things, it makes me hope, even just for one second, that you might see me as more than a friend.”

You stayed silent, trying to think of something to say.

“I Love you, ”He said, quietly, “I’ve loved you for a long time, and I’ve waited fucking _years_ for something like that one night to happen. And, I understand that you’re scared. I get it, I really do, and I’d never want you to feel like you’re being forced into something. But, fucking damn it, this is torture!” He gripped his sleeves, “You say those things to me and I feel like my chest is going to explode!”

You kept quiet until he finished, and he stole a glance at you. You bit your lip as you tried to say something to him.

“...I never said I just saw you as a friend.” You began, “I’d be lying if I said I didn't lie awake at night thinking about what it would be like if we were more.” You sighed, “I’m just… so terrified. I don’t want to get hurt...”

It was quiet again, only the ambience of the airport filling the space. You sat back, staring at the floor with him. After ten minutes of thumb-twiddling silence, Karkat turned to you.

“Coffee?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I procrastinated a lot on this. and I think I ended it a little early, but i didn't want to be some boring airport chapter. This chapter was supposed to address Karkat's feelings more. anyways, kudos or comment if you liked it?


	9. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are high when you and Karkat get back home. (Warning: nsfw)

The flight was long, way too long. Six hours sitting next to Karkat, and every time you’d glance over at him, you’d see him staring at you already. The look in his eyes made you blush. His gaze wasn’t perverse, but it did seem like he was admiring you. Every time you’d bring it up, he’d deny it. He’d face the seat in front of him, his cheeks beet red. This always made you chuckle. Whether he meant to or not, the longer he stared at you like that, the more it made you want to kiss him.

Four hours in, you reached and grabbed his hand, holding it. Glancing over, you saw Karkat’s cheeks turn an even deeper red. He sighed before smiling at you, holding your hand tightly. You smiled back, resting your head against his shoulder and falling asleep.

You two finally arrived at your apartment, dropping your bags at the door and taking off your jacket. It had just turned seven, and the sun was replaced by the moon.

“Alright.” Karkat said, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the couch, “I don’t work until Monday, so what do you wanna do? You want to go get dinner, or-!”

He let out a muffled cry of surprise as you smashed your lips against his. Your hands cupped his face as he relaxed. Karkat’s arms snaked around your waist, his head tilting to deepen the kiss. A ball of excitement manifested itself in your stomach. Good god, what are you doing?

Your hands played with his fluffy hair, lightly tugging on it when you heard a groan. You gasped as your back hit the wall, not even noticing you had backed into in. You had been kissed before, but _fuck_ it never felt this good. Soon, his lips pulled away, moving to your neck. He left a trail of small, gentle kisses down to your collar bone, his hot breath giving you goosebumps.  You let out a small mewl, tilting your head so he could access your neck better. The sounds you made riled him up even more, and he began biting at your collarbone.

You moaned, yet cried out in pain at the same time, “easy there tiger…” You said breathily, “be gentle…It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything like this.”

“Of course,” He said, planting a tender kiss where he bit.

His lips trailed back to yours, kissing you again. Your roommate took your shirt, giving an experimental tug.  You nodded, and he pulled it over your head. You turned a bright red, evading his gaze. He smiled, his hands lightly ghosting over the outline of your body.

“Beautiful.” He whispered, his lips connecting with yours again.

His hands cautiously crept up your stomach to your breasts, gently fondling them with one hand. Letting out a muffled noise, you pulled your lips away.

“Bedroom,” Was all you could say, though Karkat understood.

Your lips connected again, and he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. He carried you to his bedroom. Thank god he had cleaned it before they left, or he would’ve had to stop to clear a path so he could walk. He gently placed you on the bed, letting his eyes wander down your form. He quickly removed his shirt, revealing his slim torso. He wasn’t toned or muscular, but he was still beautiful to you.

 At this moment, you took note of how different he was from usual. Typically, you would see him on the couch, either deadpan or scowling. He was quick to anger, but you found his trivial vexation adorable. But now he was on top of you, practically pinning you to the bed. His eyes didn’t exhibit any anger, they were only dark with lust. Something about this other side of him excited you and brought heat between your legs.

He hovered over you, dragging his lips down your neck, past your collar bone, and stopped at the edge of your bra. His hands fondled your breasts lightly before following the fabric to your back.

“Sit up a little bit.” He mumbled, trying to get underneath you to unhook the under garment.

You immediately obeyed, lifting yourself just enough for him to reach over and unclasp your bra. He pulled it off your shoulders, revealing your breasts.

He stared at your body before diving back in, kissing all the way down to your, now exposed, breasts.

…..

You lay in Karkat’s bed, staring at the wall ahead of you. Karkat had been long asleep, but sleep couldn’t seem to find you as your old friend, shame, came to visit. God, why did you do that?

“Shit..” You whisper under your breath, slowly peeling Karkat’s arm off of you.

As you slowly got up and out of the bed, you heard your roommate make a small noise in his sleep. Looking back at him, you smiled at him a final time before leaving the room.

You grabbed a beer, opening it before taking a sip. You really only drank when you were around other people, but anything to calm the shaking in your hands.

You didn’t know why you regretted the encounter. It was actually pretty great. he was responsive, and he paid attention to your needs rather than his. However, deep down you knew you didn’t really want it. After everything he’s done and after everything he said on the trip, you felt like you _owed_ him at least this.

You nursed the drink, feeling a tear fall, then another, and another...

“Shit..” You wiped the tears from your face.

You finished the beer quickly, sighing as you took a breath in-between sips. Throwing the can away, you opened up a new one with a satisfying crack. You brought the can up to your lips to take another drink.

 This was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!!!!! Just uninspired!!! That, and I decided I'm really bad at writing smut so I stopped writing for a bit.  
> anyway! Comment or kudos if you liked it!


	10. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try and express your reasoning behind last night with Karkat.

You were still up, sitting at the table when Karkat made his way into the kitchen that morning. He had a certain glow to him you had never seen before, but that just made you feel worse.  You nursed your coffee as he rummaged through the fridge, feeling your heart crawl up your throat. You couldn’t stand having this guilt and regret, you had to tell him. However, your fears kept reminding you how crushed he would be when you tell him about last night. You know everything would blow up, jeopardizing their relationship. Though, you shouldn’t have to worry about your relationship, as it was pretty complicated anyway. Regardless, you couldn’t just keep your feelings from him. You looked up from your drink, seeing Karkat in front of you with an expectant expression. Shit, he said something to you.

“...what?” You ask quietly, your cheeks burning red.

“I said good morning...twice.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh.. uh... Good morning..” You took another sip of your coffee, “Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep..”

Karkat’s brow furrowed, his eyes unintentionally boring into you as you tried to avoid his gaze, “Something on your mind?” he asked you

“No.. I just-”

“Did I do something wrong last night?” He asked, his anxiety show in his eyes.

“No! No, of course, you didn’t-”

“Because if I did, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-”

“No, It wasn’t you that did anything wrong…” You said, sighing, “It was me. I’m sorry.”

You waited for him to say something, but it seemed you had to elaborate, “I didn’t know why I did any of what I did yesterday. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun...but.. With everything that happened over the trip... It reminded me how much I care about you, and how much I didn’t want to lose you. And after you said those things at the airport I thought-”

“You thought I was going to leave.” He finished, his gaze falling. Your roommate turned, going back to the fridge, almost like he was trying to find any excuse not to look at you.

“Karkat, it’s not-”

“No. I get it. “ He said, his eyes fixed in a glare as he refused to make eye contact, “You thought I was going to leave, so you tried to make me stay the only way you know how.”

The air was still, his words hanging thick before you stood, “The hell is that supposed to mean?!”

Heat rose to your cheeks, “Are you calling me a-?!”

The doorbell rang, causing both you and your roommate to look to the door. The fact that it was Ten AM left the you confused, for who could be at your house at such an early hour? Karkat turned, shutting the fridge door as he began to make his own breakfast. You watched the man angrily make a piece of toast for a few minutes before you turned to answer the door. A sigh escaped your lips as you tried to regain your composure, opening your door.

Before you could even register the face, their voice froze you over.

“Hey, dove! Miss me?”

Olivia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ho man. tbh there are bits where I forget homestuck exists, therefore my fics exist, and I just go a really long time without working on it. I promise you guys that I fully intend to finish this story. mamma didn't raise no bitch. Anyways feel free to comment your reactions and give a kudos! Thanks!


	11. Dovey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia is back, and you're not ready.

Your soul must’ve left you in that moment, the moment you saw Olivia at your door, because you couldn’t seem to move. You only stared, terrified and shaking. You wanted to slam the door in her face, pack up everything, and leave the apartment. The only thing you did was stand there.

Olivia's face fell a bit, as patience was one of the many virtues she did not have.  Her hand waved in front of your face as if trying to pull you from your thoughts. 

“Hello?” She called for you, “ You there, Dovey?”

You heard footsteps behind you, coming closer to you. The steps were loud, and they made you jump and come back to the forefront. You looked behind you to see Karkat,  glaring daggers into Olivia.

“The hell are you doing here, Olivia?” Karkat asked.

The girl in front of you was unfazed, if not annoyed, by his sudden appearance, “This has nothing to do with you, Kitkat-”

“Karkat!” He corrected.

“I said that.” She sighed, waving him off, “Whatever. Go back to whatever you were doing. I came to talk to her, not you.”

He took a step forward, “Anything you can say to her, you can say to me. You know, unless you have something to hide-”

“Karkat,” You finally said, your voice hushed, “please. Just go. I’ll be fine.” 

Karkat looked to you, and you could see that he was scared for you. You could see, for that moment, the worry he had for you. He sighed, turning the corner to go into the living room.

“Call me if you need me.” He said softly.

You turned to Olivia, her glare attempting to hide her fear, “How the hell did you find me?”

She raised an eyebrow, “You know, I thought you’d be more pleasantly surprised. Come on, Dovey, aren’t you happy to see me?” She tried to put a hand on your shoulder, but you shrugged it away.

“I asked you a question, Olivia.” 

You could see the muscles in Olivia’s neck tense, then relax with a sigh, “Look, I asked your parents where you lived. They gave me your address.” 

“Why? What do you want from me?”

“Hey, hey, I don’t want anything from you.” She said, “ I only wanted to apologize, okay? We can talk, and if you want to keep going on, forgetting my existence, you can go ahead. But I think I speak for both of us when I say we need closure. ”

“..You just want to talk?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, “No ulterior motives? No catches?” 

“Just you and me, Dove,” She said with a smile.

You hesitated, looking back over to where Karkat had been. He wasn’t there anymore.

“Fine.” You said with an exasperated sigh, “But not here, and not now.”

“Name a time and a place. I’ll be there!”

“There's a Starbucks right down the street, not even a mile. Meet me there at noon tomorrow.” Her face was stern,“ And after that, If I tell you to leave me alone, you  _ leave me alone _ . No calling, not texting, and certainly no showing up at my apartment. If you don’t, I’m getting a restraining order. Do I make myself clear?”

She nodded, her eyes lighting up, “Of Course! Christal clear!!!” He said, his enthusiasm showing in her voice. 

“Be there. I won’t give another chance like this again.” You said, “Bye.”

You closed the door without another word, locking it. A second passed before you rested against the door, holding your hands to try and stop the shaking.

“Shit..” You whispered under your breath.

The air was still in the apartment, silent as her choice hung heavy in the air. 

“I can’t believe you right now.” She heard Karkat say, coming from around the corner near the door. Had he been hidden this entire time?

“Karkat..?” you asked, your voice quiet.

“How stupid can you be?!”  His voice rose in volume, “you  _ know  _ she’s trying to hurt you!”

You stayed quiet, staring up at him, “She said she was going to apologize… That she was sorry” You whimpered.

“And then what?” Karkat asked, his face becoming flushed with anger, “She’ll try and fucking lure you back in like she always does, only to show you  _ she hasn’t changed at all!” _

You got up, walking away from Karkat into the kitchen. She tried to breathe steadily to calm herself. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. You repeated the steps in your mind as Karkat continued to yell.

“I thought you were fucking smarter than this,” He spat your name, making you flinch a bit, “Do you know how many fucking times I’ve watched you make this mistake? And how many times it has ended with you getting hurt? She could  _ kill you _ this time around!”

You were crying at that point, your back to Karkat as you tried to get a word in edgewise, “She..-” 

“No, She’s hurt you so many times before, and you just readily accept to meet her? What the fuck!” He saw your shoulders lift as you began to sob, his face falling. He called your name quietly, “Shit..” 

He approached you tentatively, reaching to gently touch her shoulder, “I-”

She shook her head, “I  _ know _ what I’m doing is stupid. You don’t think I know that?” She sobbed, “I’m  _ terrified! _ But I just need this, okay? I need this. I need to hear her say she’s sorry. I don’t care if it’s genuine. I just need it so I can move on. And-- And after that, I’m going to tell her to leave me alone. But I just need this. I need to move on!” She could barely catch her breath, her sobs were shaking her body at this point.

Karkat sighed, turning her to face him,” I know you need it...I know.” His arms wrapped around her as she cried, “I’m sorry for yelling... I’m just scared for you. I’ve seen this over and over again, and I can’t just be silent when I know you’re going to end up hurt…”

You looked up, sniffling, “You’re not gonna leave, right?” you asked, looking more like a kicked puppy than anything.

“Of course not.” Karkat said, “In fact, I’ll do you one better, I’ll go meet her with you.”

“You will?”

“Well, I can’t just stand there and let you go by yourself. I’ll be right there the entire time if you need me.”

You needed a lot more than coffee to get through the rest of your morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo so I'm always on Hiatus, but I brought y'all another chapter! Tell me what you guys think about it in the comments, maybe even put a kudos! I really appreciate every single comment I see. Have a wonderful day!!!  
> -Bo


End file.
